Hello dear world!
​
Peggie Arvidson of the awesomely helpful The Pragmatic Palmist asked me to contribute something on the topic of palmist's best tips for life using your hand (read the entire column here).

I am delighted to contribute!
For my tip, I need you to yourself to some good lighting.  
​Grab a magnifying glass if you need and let's take a look at your fingertips.  
Do you see whorls on your fingertips?  I'm talking little swirl, bullseye, circular designs right on your fingerpad like the little guy on the bottom left that I have circled in green or some close variation of it.

How many of these little whorls do you have?

The biggest thing that you are here to learn about in life is how to really be of service in the world.
To find a way to be of service to others be they people, causes, animals or the planet is a one of your ingredients to have a meaningful + fulfilling life.

En route to this though, you're inevitably going to have to find ways to get more focused, empowered and dedicated to what lights you up otherwise you might fall into the trap that Service people are prone to:  exhausted burnout, grumpily unappreciated and backed into a corner where you feel unable to do what you want because your duties / responsibilities / obligations are way too heavy.  EEW.

So let's get into this.  
I'll set you up with context so you remember what it feels like to be in awesome service versus awful service.  
Then I will give you the 2 questions to ask so you can find your back to awesome after you notice you have been quagmired in awful.

Whorl fingerprints indicate that there is a soul-level delight + motivation for you to to give, serve and help.  Serving can feel so good for you!  At its best, people with all these whorl fingerprints can be found doing thing like helping friends move into apartments with no elevators in the rain for the 3rd time this year with an easy smile and ridiculous cheer.  Why?  Because they love to help and serve.  They love to do this just because they want to.  Because it fills them up and makes them feel like they have done something meaningful at the end of the day.

Awesome service =  giving / doing generously because they want to.  Plain + simple.  It feels easy, magical, light + invigorating for not only you but the lucky recipient of your service.

Okay bad news time.
The thing that service people forget is this:  it is vitally important to learn how to serve yourself with the same steadfast dedication that you serve others. Learning to care for oneself with badass focus is actually something that the majority of of service people need to learn to excel at.

Awful service = Basically when you feel you SHOULD do something but you really don't want to.  Your desire and your action are out of alignment.  So instead of giving / doing something because you truly want to, you are acting because you are plagued with guilt, overcome with feelings of duty or feel bound by obligation.  Some one else  or some seemingly external condition is creating a prison of SHOULD DO / BE when the reality is that you want something different.  Welcome to hell for a Service person.  You know you are here when you feel burned out and exhausted.  Or when you are filled with dread, reluctance and heaviness to do the thing you said you were going to do.  If you find yourself needing to justify an action or talk yourself into doing something when your body is resisting, I bet you are dancing around Service hell.  

Remember that example of helping friends move into elevator-less apartments in the rain?  Well you may have been happy to do so the first 3 times but let's say that you are called for help again to help for a 4th time.  When they just moved last month.  On a day that you were planning to do something you were really looking forward to and had planned for weeks in advance.  I bet it doesn't feel as easy to say ''Yes I'll totally be there to help" which is EXACTLY THE POINT.  Most beginner Service people will say yes to helping anyway and resent it.  

Good question!
Here's your practical palmistry life tips right here Service people.
You are here to learn to master two phrases:

"What Do I Want?"
The biggest fear of Service people is the fear of being selfish.
This makes the question "what do I really want in this moment / situation etc." a potentially very scary one to ask.
But guess what?
It's super essential for you to learn how to ask it.  To yourself.  With steadfast regularity.  
This is because this question is your practical bridge to your whole self!  Ask what your body wants.  Is it to take a pee and stretch break after you have worked with tireless focus tending to your sick dog for 8 hours?   Ask what your mind wants.  What your heart wants.  Ask what you want - WITHOUT ANYONE ELSE'S OPINION CLOUDING THE RESPONSE.  This can be a startlingly simple way to get back to the tiny voice of wisdom that's your real, true Self.  Also, the more frequently you ask yourself ''what do I want" the more likely it is that your wise inner voice will get louder.  Clearer.  That it won't be so hard to tune in and hear it amidst the other clamour.

AND.
If you want to change your life, start acting on what you hear.
If your body feels thirsty and you want water - down a glass.
If you want to feel connected with your creativity - take 10 minutes a day to doodle / sing / dance / make something.
Do this consistently and your whole life will shift because you are acting from what you really want, rather than what you feel like you should be doing.

I hope this helps fellow whorl fingerprint people!
Listen to what shows up in your hands.  It can change your life :)
​Much love,

1.  How does ornery feel to you?

Ornery feels different to everyone.  
The formal definitions of ornery frequently cite: bad-tempered, easily annoyed, difficult to control and combative.  
For me, ornery is when I feel cranky and growly.  
When I am in prime ornery mode I feel resentful, backed into a corner, guarded and uncooperative. 
I feel like my shoulders are hunched down together and that I have a perpetual frown.  I feel heavy and defensive.
What does ornery feel like to you? Learn to describe it so you can notice when it shows up.

2.  What does ornery tell to you?

Feelings are genius clues to our condition.
For me, feeling ornery is usually my alert that I am out of alignment in some way.
It usually means that I am acting out of reaction rather that thoughtfulness.  
It means I am just doing without consciously , intentionally choosing to do something.  
It might also mean that I have forgotten to ask and answer the 3 cardinal questions for Whorl fingerprint people before responding to a request:

• Is it good for them?
• Is it good for me?
• Do I want to do this?

3.  What's the rescue kit for lifting ornery + returning to Happyland?

I used to judge myself quite harshly for being cranky or getting cranky.  
I mean, what kind of a selfish and terrible person am I for agreeing to do something I don't really want to do anyway?  Joking!  So joking.  
Nowadays, thank goodness, I have come to recognize and value my ornery state of feeling as an indicator that something is off.  
Life is meant to feel easy and feel good, really and truly, so ornery is a delicious contrast to direct us back to the easy, pleasurable joy (= Happyland).  
When I notice that I am cranky, here's what I do to honour the ornery and help move it along:

3. Listen:  I talk to the ornery part of me and ask what's going on.  You'd be surprised what this does sometimes.  Usually it gives me some more insight as to what has ticked me off or what is pressing against me. ''Talking'' can be done via journalling, quiet time, conversation with a friend, meditation, checking in with a support person etc.

4. Choose: Usually after that introspective part, I often ask myself if I still want to feel ornery.  Then I choose to DO (see next) accordingly 

5.  Do: Hey, sometimes I do want to feel ornery!  True story.  It's fun!  Also a healthy and honest expression of my anger connects me to the truth of what I am feeling and power - all good stuff when expressed in a conscious way.  So if I want to keep feeling ornery and run with Crankypants I usually choose what I am going to do. Keep doing what I am doing perhaps (argh, this one can be hard, especially when you think you have no option otherwise) or stomp around monstrously and deeply only to notice the grump has dissipated.  Possible.  Or if you don't wait to be cranky, do something to pull you out of it.  Some physical experience that will immediately bring you to a feeling state of something other than cranky.  I like to turn on music and dance.  Or go notice and appreciate some beautiful flowers.  Or take deep breaths.  Or pay attention to my cat.  Or go do something that brings me joy.

It's through exercising all these things I have come to really, truly enjoy the state of ornery as a wise indicator of how in alignment I am.
How my actions are matching - or not matching - my wants.  
It allows me to course-correct!
And that my friends, is why it is important to embrace your opposites, even if it feels initially uncomfortable.  
There's usually wisdom in the opposite - even if it means becoming the embodiment of Grumpy McNo!

Love from your resident Crankypants,