A doodle depicting the Ornery part of me as it manifests in my consciousness
(on the Board of Directors).
1. Just be yourself
All of you as it most easily + geniously (yes that is a word) rises to the surface.
Or as Richard Unger would say in his Brooklyn drawl: ''Be the type you is!''
2. Incorporate your opposite
Today I am going to focus on that incorporate your opposite piece.
And a delicious, advanced technique for integrating the polar opposite dimensions of yourself so that you can be a yummy whole person.
Incorporate your opposite!
Now in hand analysis world, incorporating your opposite doesn't mean be 50/50.
It does not mean that you are striving for some kind of equal balance - like half the time you give yourself permission to be a spontaneous, freedom living planner and the other half of the time you honour a time table and agenda.
Not at all.
In hand analysis world, incorporating your opposite means first, be who you are, wholly.
Then, be willing to choose to express / do the complete opposite of what comes most naturally to you a little bit of the time. Let's say ... 20% of the time. It's the grand 80-20 rule.
So let's recap!
In hand analysis world, incorporating your opposite means
80% of the time - Be Who You Is
20% of the time - Be Aware of What Opposite You Would Do In The Same Situation + Be Free to Choose I
It means completely embrace the part of you that loves to have an unplanned vacation so you can wake up each day freshly free to take advantage of the weather and local seasonal events! It means also that if seeing an ancient ruin that you have always wanted to see at sunrise takes a little bit of prep work (waking up at 4am to take a 1 hour drive and get into place) you can call upon your opposite stable schedule-minding side to get to bed at 10pm and set the alarm for 3am so you don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity.
Being ornery is a way for me express my opposite.
In #HandAnalysisClub, being ornery is frequently an opposite of features such as:
Especially in the cases above, being ornery in #HandAnalysisClub can evolve to become a super-power of sorts.
This is my story, being a person who has 10 whorls and water elements in her hands.
Heck, I actually have all 4 of the markings above so being ornery has truly + absolutely become a super-power!
It is a super power that allows me to truly choose to say yes or no to any request or opportunity because I choose it freely. Powerfully.
My previous default is reactively saying yes to everything especially request of my time and attention or reactively saying no to everything (the other extreme which I admittedly, have little experience with until very recently).
The formal definitions of ornery frequently cite: bad-tempered, easily annoyed, difficult to control and combative.
For me, ornery is when I feel cranky and growly.
When I am in prime ornery mode I feel resentful, backed into a corner, guarded and uncooperative.
I feel like my shoulders are hunched down together and that I have a perpetual frown. I feel heavy and defensive.
What does ornery feel like to you? Learn to describe it so you can notice when it shows up.
Feelings are genius clues to our condition.
For me, feeling ornery is usually my alert that I am out of alignment in some way.
It usually means that I am acting out of reaction rather that thoughtfulness.
It means I am just doing without consciously , intentionally choosing to do something.
It might also mean that I have forgotten to ask and answer the 3 cardinal questions for Whorl fingerprint people before responding to a request:
- Is it good for them?
- Is it good for me?
- Do I want to do this?
I used to judge myself quite harshly for being cranky or getting cranky.
I mean, what kind of a selfish and terrible person am I for agreeing to do something I don't really want to do anyway? Joking! So joking.
Nowadays, thank goodness, I have come to recognize and value my ornery state of feeling as an indicator that something is off.
Life is meant to feel easy and feel good, really and truly, so ornery is a delicious contrast to direct us back to the easy, pleasurable joy (= Happyland).
When I notice that I am cranky, here's what I do to honour the ornery and help move it along:
1. Celebrate: Always. If I notice I am feeling something, especially ornery, first I give a little whoop of thanks that I noticed it.
2. Make Friendly: Get friendly with the ornery. I don't want to rush the crankypants part of myself along - I just want to notice it and wave hello.
4. Choose: Usually after that introspective part, I often ask myself if I still want to feel ornery. Then I choose to DO (see next) accordingly
5. Do: Hey, sometimes I do want to feel ornery! True story. It's fun! Also a healthy and honest expression of my anger connects me to the truth of what I am feeling and power - all good stuff when expressed in a conscious way. So if I want to keep feeling ornery and run with Crankypants I usually choose what I am going to do. Keep doing what I am doing perhaps (argh, this one can be hard, especially when you think you have no option otherwise) or stomp around monstrously and deeply only to notice the grump has dissipated. Possible. Or if you don't wait to be cranky, do something to pull you out of it. Some physical experience that will immediately bring you to a feeling state of something other than cranky. I like to turn on music and dance. Or go notice and appreciate some beautiful flowers. Or take deep breaths. Or pay attention to my cat. Or go do something that brings me joy.
How my actions are matching - or not matching - my wants.
It allows me to course-correct!
And that my friends, is why it is important to embrace your opposites, even if it feels initially uncomfortable.
There's usually wisdom in the opposite - even if it means becoming the embodiment of Grumpy McNo!
Love from your resident Crankypants,