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A Love Story In Screenshots

2/25/2016

5 Comments

 
Hello dear world!
Much of my time + creative attention is invested right now in preparing for a wedding celebration + move come July.
I wanted to share one of the most fun fruits of this: a narrative of how Gopaul and I met, in screenshots.
Please consider this a window into my personal world.
It's also a testament to the wild sense of humour that the Universe has - I met my sweetie at the most unexpected time in my life.  In fact, immediately prior to meeting him I had sworn that I didn't want to be in a serious relationship for 5 years. On top of that, I had a long-standing skepticism for blind, societal construction of marriage.  Fortunately, I had given myself the gift of exploring all kinds of relationship models which led me ultimately to discovering the tenderness of what I really desired in my life when it came to a relationship. 
I had just started to articulate the barest essence of what I wanted to feel like in this sort of relationship.

Then, along comes this guy.  He feels like home if home was a hearth that was regularly speckled with laughter, magic, curiosity.  If home was adventure headquarters :)
Ultimately, that's what I'm committing to and celebrating with whooping joy :)

Here's to life regularly surprising + delighting the pants off you too!
​Much love,

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5 Comments

Practical Palmistry for Whorl /Service Fingerprints (Part 1)

2/12/2016

1 Comment

 
Hello dear world!
​

Peggie Arvidson of the awesomely helpful The Pragmatic Palmist asked me to contribute something on the topic of palmist's best tips for life using your hand (read the entire column here).

I am delighted to contribute!
For my tip, I need you to yourself to some good lighting.  
​Grab a magnifying glass if you need and let's take a look at your fingertips.  
Do you see whorls on your fingertips?  I'm talking little swirl, bullseye, circular designs right on your fingerpad like the little guy on the bottom left that I have circled in green or some close variation of it.
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How many of these little whorls do you have?

If you have 4 or more whorls on your fingertips,
hooray you are a Service person!


The biggest thing that you are here to learn about in life is how to really be of service in the world.

To find a way to be of service to others be they people, causes, animals or the planet is a one of your ingredients to have a meaningful + fulfilling life.

En route to this though, you're inevitably going to have to find ways to get more focused, empowered and dedicated to what lights you up otherwise you might fall into the trap that Service people are prone to:  exhausted burnout, grumpily unappreciated and backed into a corner where you feel unable to do what you want because your duties / responsibilities / obligations are way too heavy.  EEW.

So let's get into this.  
I'll set you up with context so you remember what it feels like to be in awesome service versus awful service.  
Then I will give you the 2 questions to ask so you can find your back to awesome after you notice you have been quagmired in awful.

Whorl fingerprints indicate that there is a soul-level delight + motivation for you to to give, serve and help.  Serving can feel so good for you!  At its best, people with all these whorl fingerprints can be found doing thing like helping friends move into apartments with no elevators in the rain for the 3rd time this year with an easy smile and ridiculous cheer.  Why?  Because they love to help and serve.  They love to do this just because they want to.  Because it fills them up and makes them feel like they have done something meaningful at the end of the day.

Awesome service =  giving / doing generously because they want to.  Plain + simple.  It feels easy, magical, light + invigorating for not only you but the lucky recipient of your service.

Okay bad news time.

The thing that service people forget is this:  it is vitally important to learn how to serve yourself with the same steadfast dedication that you serve others. Learning to care for oneself with badass focus is actually something that the majority of of service people need to learn to excel at.

Awful service = Basically when you feel you SHOULD do something but you really don't want to.  Your desire and your action are out of alignment.  So instead of giving / doing something because you truly want to, you are acting because you are plagued with guilt, overcome with feelings of duty or feel bound by obligation.  Some one else  or some seemingly external condition is creating a prison of SHOULD DO / BE when the reality is that you want something different.  Welcome to hell for a Service person.  You know you are here when you feel burned out and exhausted.  Or when you are filled with dread, reluctance and heaviness to do the thing you said you were going to do.  If you find yourself needing to justify an action or talk yourself into doing something when your body is resisting, I bet you are dancing around Service hell.  

Remember that example of helping friends move into elevator-less apartments in the rain?  Well you may have been happy to do so the first 3 times but let's say that you are called for help again to help for a 4th time.  When they just moved last month.  On a day that you were planning to do something you were really looking forward to and had planned for weeks in advance.  I bet it doesn't feel as easy to say ''Yes I'll totally be there to help" which is EXACTLY THE POINT.  Most beginner Service people will say yes to helping anyway and resent it.  

What's the way out?

Good question!
Here's your practical palmistry life tips right here Service people.
You are here to learn to master two phrases:
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"No"
Service people classically are great at being responsible for other people.  It takes them more effort do to the self-care thing and be responsible for themselves because remember you whorl-fingertip people - you can't give from an empty well.


Learning to say No to the endless requests that you will reflexively want to say yes too is an essential tool of discernment at will save you much time and energy. The trick is to learn how to embrace the discomfort of saying no or at least buying yourself time to discern how you want to respond to the request.

For those of you who have followed me, you'll know that I'm a 10 whorl person. I'm all about learning to become the most powerful agent of service possible which demands that I become equally fierce in looking after myself.  On the left you'll see something I made for myself - a divination deck of ways to say No.  Why? To make the practice of saying no more fun and easy because as with lots of service people, it's something that is uncomfortable at first to do.

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"What Do I Want?"
The biggest fear of Service people is the fear of being selfish.
This makes the question "what do I really want in this moment / situation etc." a potentially very scary one to ask.
But guess what?
It's super essential for you to learn how to ask it.  To yourself.  With steadfast regularity.  

This is because this question is your practical bridge to your whole self!  Ask what your body wants.  Is it to take a pee and stretch break after you have worked with tireless focus tending to your sick dog for 8 hours?   Ask what your mind wants.  What your heart wants.  Ask what you want - WITHOUT ANYONE ELSE'S OPINION CLOUDING THE RESPONSE.  This can be a startlingly simple way to get back to the tiny voice of wisdom that's your real, true Self.  Also, the more frequently you ask yourself ''what do I want" the more likely it is that your wise inner voice will get louder.  Clearer.  That it won't be so hard to tune in and hear it amidst the other clamour.

AND.
If you want to change your life, start acting on what you hear.
If your body feels thirsty and you want water - down a glass.
If you want to feel connected with your creativity - take 10 minutes a day to doodle / sing / dance / make something.
Do this consistently and your whole life will shift because you are acting from what you really want, rather than what you feel like you should be doing.

I hope this helps fellow whorl fingerprint people!
Listen to what shows up in your hands.  It can change your life :)

​Much love,

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