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Lovetastic! 1st Year Anniversary of Life Shifting stuff

8/6/2017

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Dear friends!
What a wonder!
It has been 1 year - more than one year, since I celebrated a major milestone of my life.
July 2, 2016 was a Lovetastic celebration of 2 weirdos making a pact to lovingly adventure together in life!
We moved onto the farm in September 2016 and the past year has been an absolute cacophony of annoyance, beauty, understanding, creation + making home, together.
When we celebrated our first year wedding anniversary together I marveled; everyone coos over the glamorous buzz of planning a wedding but only my dear elderly Italian neighbour took a moment to lovingly ground me with the real work of marriage. From my understanding and definition, marriage is a commitment to unite two individuals in an equitable (and fun! and honest!) dance of power wherein both are nurtured to grow.
Dudes.  This feat is more challenging + scary than anyone can articulate but also more deeply satisfying and amazing than anyone can articulate.
My heart is so full.
I continue to overflow with gratitude (that needs to be translated into thank you cards, STILL) for the new landscape that is my life with the most ridiculous, wise + steadying force of love that is my husband and partner-in-crime, Gopaul.

It feels really good to close the loop on Lovetastic celebrations in my blog + make way for my voice to flow again in words.
Thank you all for your good wishes!
Please hit play to watch a video scrapbook of our day, tendered to posterity by
​Rick Collins + Cheryl Claiborne of Love You Me Pictures.

With gratitude + quiet delight beyond my wildest imaginings,
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A Love Story In Screenshots

2/25/2016

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Hello dear world!
Much of my time + creative attention is invested right now in preparing for a wedding celebration + move come July.
I wanted to share one of the most fun fruits of this: a narrative of how Gopaul and I met, in screenshots.
Please consider this a window into my personal world.
It's also a testament to the wild sense of humour that the Universe has - I met my sweetie at the most unexpected time in my life.  In fact, immediately prior to meeting him I had sworn that I didn't want to be in a serious relationship for 5 years. On top of that, I had a long-standing skepticism for blind, societal construction of marriage.  Fortunately, I had given myself the gift of exploring all kinds of relationship models which led me ultimately to discovering the tenderness of what I really desired in my life when it came to a relationship. 
I had just started to articulate the barest essence of what I wanted to feel like in this sort of relationship.

Then, along comes this guy.  He feels like home if home was a hearth that was regularly speckled with laughter, magic, curiosity.  If home was adventure headquarters :)
Ultimately, that's what I'm committing to and celebrating with whooping joy :)

Here's to life regularly surprising + delighting the pants off you too!
​Much love,

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Practical Palmistry for Whorl /Service Fingerprints (Part 1)

2/12/2016

1 Comment

 
Hello dear world!
​

Peggie Arvidson of the awesomely helpful The Pragmatic Palmist asked me to contribute something on the topic of palmist's best tips for life using your hand (read the entire column here).

I am delighted to contribute!
For my tip, I need you to yourself to some good lighting.  
​Grab a magnifying glass if you need and let's take a look at your fingertips.  
Do you see whorls on your fingertips?  I'm talking little swirl, bullseye, circular designs right on your fingerpad like the little guy on the bottom left that I have circled in green or some close variation of it.
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How many of these little whorls do you have?

If you have 4 or more whorls on your fingertips,
hooray you are a Service person!


The biggest thing that you are here to learn about in life is how to really be of service in the world.

To find a way to be of service to others be they people, causes, animals or the planet is a one of your ingredients to have a meaningful + fulfilling life.

En route to this though, you're inevitably going to have to find ways to get more focused, empowered and dedicated to what lights you up otherwise you might fall into the trap that Service people are prone to:  exhausted burnout, grumpily unappreciated and backed into a corner where you feel unable to do what you want because your duties / responsibilities / obligations are way too heavy.  EEW.

So let's get into this.  
I'll set you up with context so you remember what it feels like to be in awesome service versus awful service.  
Then I will give you the 2 questions to ask so you can find your back to awesome after you notice you have been quagmired in awful.

Whorl fingerprints indicate that there is a soul-level delight + motivation for you to to give, serve and help.  Serving can feel so good for you!  At its best, people with all these whorl fingerprints can be found doing thing like helping friends move into apartments with no elevators in the rain for the 3rd time this year with an easy smile and ridiculous cheer.  Why?  Because they love to help and serve.  They love to do this just because they want to.  Because it fills them up and makes them feel like they have done something meaningful at the end of the day.

Awesome service =  giving / doing generously because they want to.  Plain + simple.  It feels easy, magical, light + invigorating for not only you but the lucky recipient of your service.

Okay bad news time.

The thing that service people forget is this:  it is vitally important to learn how to serve yourself with the same steadfast dedication that you serve others. Learning to care for oneself with badass focus is actually something that the majority of of service people need to learn to excel at.

Awful service = Basically when you feel you SHOULD do something but you really don't want to.  Your desire and your action are out of alignment.  So instead of giving / doing something because you truly want to, you are acting because you are plagued with guilt, overcome with feelings of duty or feel bound by obligation.  Some one else  or some seemingly external condition is creating a prison of SHOULD DO / BE when the reality is that you want something different.  Welcome to hell for a Service person.  You know you are here when you feel burned out and exhausted.  Or when you are filled with dread, reluctance and heaviness to do the thing you said you were going to do.  If you find yourself needing to justify an action or talk yourself into doing something when your body is resisting, I bet you are dancing around Service hell.  

Remember that example of helping friends move into elevator-less apartments in the rain?  Well you may have been happy to do so the first 3 times but let's say that you are called for help again to help for a 4th time.  When they just moved last month.  On a day that you were planning to do something you were really looking forward to and had planned for weeks in advance.  I bet it doesn't feel as easy to say ''Yes I'll totally be there to help" which is EXACTLY THE POINT.  Most beginner Service people will say yes to helping anyway and resent it.  

What's the way out?

Good question!
Here's your practical palmistry life tips right here Service people.
You are here to learn to master two phrases:
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"No"
Service people classically are great at being responsible for other people.  It takes them more effort do to the self-care thing and be responsible for themselves because remember you whorl-fingertip people - you can't give from an empty well.


Learning to say No to the endless requests that you will reflexively want to say yes too is an essential tool of discernment at will save you much time and energy. The trick is to learn how to embrace the discomfort of saying no or at least buying yourself time to discern how you want to respond to the request.

For those of you who have followed me, you'll know that I'm a 10 whorl person. I'm all about learning to become the most powerful agent of service possible which demands that I become equally fierce in looking after myself.  On the left you'll see something I made for myself - a divination deck of ways to say No.  Why? To make the practice of saying no more fun and easy because as with lots of service people, it's something that is uncomfortable at first to do.

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"What Do I Want?"
The biggest fear of Service people is the fear of being selfish.
This makes the question "what do I really want in this moment / situation etc." a potentially very scary one to ask.
But guess what?
It's super essential for you to learn how to ask it.  To yourself.  With steadfast regularity.  

This is because this question is your practical bridge to your whole self!  Ask what your body wants.  Is it to take a pee and stretch break after you have worked with tireless focus tending to your sick dog for 8 hours?   Ask what your mind wants.  What your heart wants.  Ask what you want - WITHOUT ANYONE ELSE'S OPINION CLOUDING THE RESPONSE.  This can be a startlingly simple way to get back to the tiny voice of wisdom that's your real, true Self.  Also, the more frequently you ask yourself ''what do I want" the more likely it is that your wise inner voice will get louder.  Clearer.  That it won't be so hard to tune in and hear it amidst the other clamour.

AND.
If you want to change your life, start acting on what you hear.
If your body feels thirsty and you want water - down a glass.
If you want to feel connected with your creativity - take 10 minutes a day to doodle / sing / dance / make something.
Do this consistently and your whole life will shift because you are acting from what you really want, rather than what you feel like you should be doing.

I hope this helps fellow whorl fingerprint people!
Listen to what shows up in your hands.  It can change your life :)

​Much love,

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Sundays at The Garden Health

11/15/2015

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Hello there everyone! 

I am absolutely delighted to share with you that I now have a regular Sunday afternoon hang out in ​Vancouver's West End at
The Garden Health  (1204 Davie Street)

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You can find me there from 12pm to 5pm on:
  • Sunday, November 22
  • Sunday,  December 6
  • Sunday, December 20
Readings are $25 for 20 minutes.  You will receive an audio recording and associated notes from our session.
You can book appointments in advance by calling (604) 688-4325

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Click on the video above for an introduction to Hand Analysis as a modality


About Hand Analysis

Hand Analysis is a modern form of ancient palmistry.  It integrates Western + Eastern traditions of hand reading with a current understanding of neurobiology.  This form of palmistry is not predictive.  Rather that presume to tell the future, hand analysis seeks to support individuals to create their own futures by understanding the present-day relationship between thinking, feeling and behaviour represented in the patterns of the hand. It is a powerful assessment tool liked to an organic Myers-Briggs test that honours the concept of soul + consciousness as vital ingredients to success and health. In this way, hand analysis is a practical, tangible and precise tool to facilitate self-awareness + self-appreciation.
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A Webinar Offering:  ''From Confusion to Clarity: Navigating Big Changes in Health + 4 Key Advocacy Questions for Caregivers of Frail Elders''

10/6/2015

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RSVP here! 
I will email you the details of how to join the webinar online on Tuesday, October 13 from 7 - 8:30pm PST

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Greetings to you from my boisterous + messy desk :)

It's been a month since I have completed my hand analysis certification and I find the work that is crossing my desk draws upon my palliative care expertise so I am weaving that into both my creative offerings + hand analysis practice.

I was inspired from a very well received presentation I did in September for the Gerontological Nurses Association of British Columbia.  Next week I am adapting it and will be offering it as my first free hour-long webinar!  It is on the topic of navigating health changes faced by frail elders + how to be an advocate / open up important conversations in a simple framework.

This presentation is for anyone who identifies as a caregiver for a frail elder.


My working definition of a caregiver includes both being a formal / professional caregiver such as a nurse, care aide, massage therapist, home support worker etc to being an informal / family care giver.  This might mean that you are helping an elderly neighbour who lives down the hall, visiting a grandparent who lives in a care home or generally find yourself in close proximity to elders who need more and more help with everyday stuff.

A frail elder is someone who is 65 years old or older who needs assistance with activities of daily living such as bathing, cooking or mobilizing.  Often they are living in an institution such as a nursing home.

Objectives of this presentation include:
  1. Discussing the natural changes expected as elders  approach the natural end of their life.  This will also include discussion of how chronic diseases (dementia, heart disease etc.) impact an elder over time in their function 
  2. Teach 4 key essential questions to open conversations about health changes + decision making. These key questions are awesome whether you are a patient, an advocate or a caregiver
Please feel free to share this invitation to someone that
​ you think may enjoy or benefit from this information!
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​I have designed a questionnaire for webinar attendees but I would love to hear from anyone who is struggling with being a caregiver right now. The time you invest to share your story allows me to create things that may help you + your loved ones. Best of all, they inspire me.  
Thank you for taking the time to share!

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3 Essential Skills for Living with Loop Fingerprints

9/3/2015

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Fingerprints come in 4 basic designs.
Each forensic pattern, in hand analysis world, corresponds with a major theme of consciousness.

This post will focus on the Loop fingerprint which represents the theme of Love!

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I usually send my hand reading clients away with a doodle summary that summarizes the major themes of the associated fingerprint.  
Here's the doodle I have for Loops = Love
(for people with 6 or more of these fingerprints!)  
These doodle summaries also name the general fear associated with the fingerprint, gives a handy affirmation and tool that will be helpful and resonant with people who have a whole lot of love fingerprints.  It's a great place to start getting specific about love / feeling / vulnerability awareness.
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When I speak about Love in the fingerprints, I equate it with the quest of a person who is here to grow their emotional presence + express their feeling landscape authentically. Essentially, they are here to be master of expressing the feels, thereby reaping the towards of deep, honest + meaningful connection to their own self + others.
I would like to offer what I think are 

3 Essential Skills for Living with Loop Fingerprints 

1.  Feel emotion as an organic experience. 

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What not to do.
Just feel the emotion, the energy in motion through your body first and foremost. 
Where are you feeling it and what does it feel like?  
How would you describe the qualities of this sensation:  gentle, intense, subtle or strong?  
Does it feel like tingles in my tummy?  Heaviness in my chest?  Bursting bubbles of lightness?  
This trains us to just notice the physical experience of feeling.
The key here, especially with you air / logical / practical / thinking / rational types is to not try to explain the feeling but just recognize and experience it.  That's all!

2.  Name It.  

Wonderful!  Now you have felt the feeling, the emotion it is time to try to name what you felt - so you can share the experience with others.  Trust me, sharing feelings is awesome.
This can be tricky as there are so many words to name your experience precisely. I love to grow my vocabulary around these words.  Here are a couple charts / pictures that I love:
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And here is a chart using the characters from Pixar's new animated movie, Inside Out, which I think is a brilliant commentary on how all feelings are important:
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3. Express the Feelings / Share Them / Let It Go

People with loop fingerprints are challenged to be their most authentic self first and foremost.  
Usually that this looks and feels like is the willingness to speak / feel what seems most prickly and uncomfortable.
It is a willingness to notice the place within us that resists, that wants to blank out and be willing to sit patiently and invite this resistance to unfurl itself, bringing with it a wisdom + insights.

When loop fingerprinted people are able to acknowledge, accept + lean into the evasive, scary part of their experience (and recognise the symptoms of it in their life)  the great gift is to learn to yield to feeling.  
This can lead to a profound feelings of relief, lightness and awareness.
The loopy fingerprinted person is gifted with an opportunity to see and accept truths within them that once seemed intolerable.  
This self-love and self-connection is the foundation for being able to hold the same unconditional regard for other people's hard-to-love elusive parts in tandem with the sublime + genius aspect of their being.

Feelings are essential to this process - feelings indicate when we are closer to being and expressing our authentic self.  Put simply, being our full authentic self often feels invigorating, easy, light, joyful and good.  When we are out of alignment with being who we really are we can feel dense, fearful, evasive, depressed, stuck or numb.  We don't feel good.  
In this light, the skill to express emotions in the moment freely becomes an imperative for our physical well-being.
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Another metaphor I love to use is this:
We are organic radios!
  • Learning to feel is like being able to read a dial:  How tuned into real me am I?
  • Identifying feelings is like learning to recognise the different tunes that give us even more clues and textures to how we are feeling
  • Finally, being willing to do the messy practice work of learning to deftly express our feelings in the moment to whomever we choose gives us the opportunity to create deep, lasting relationships based on realness + truth.  


These relationships, forged in the fires of vulnerability, are opportunities to be  fiercely real and open-hearted.  These are pinnacle connecting experiences for loop fingerprinted embodied-love kind of people.

Here's a tribute to the wisdom of Dr. Wayne Dyer whose words of wisdom and wardrobe are
 perfectly in sync with 
'love' themes.

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Does this help or give clarity to you loopy-tipped folk?
I would love to hear.
Until then, here is your friendly neighbourhood hand analyst signing off with much love + joy :)
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PS.  Favourite Loop Fingerprint Resources:

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  • Article:  ''Loops:  The Relationship Trail'' (1991) written by Alana Unger, faculty of the International Institute of Hand Analysis (http://www.handanalysis.net/loops.html)
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  • Book:  Daring Greatly:  How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead written by Brene Brown + Karen White (2012)
  • Movie:  Inside Out by Pixar Studios (2015)
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  • Toy / Educational Resource:  Kimochi: Toys with Feelings Inside (2011).  Yes these are technically for children but they are genius! (http://www.kimochis.com.au/)
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Where I Been + Where I'm Going!

7/19/2015

2 Comments

 
Hello dear world!
It's long been on my mind to sit down and examine where I have been + where I am going - especially with my hilariously amazing adventure of working for myself.  
Also:  I have been working as a nurse for 10 years!
A decade!
How the time flies :)
For those of you who have followed me since I first started sharing in 2012, you may remember that at one point I was a hybrid of face-painting, cranial-sacral-therapist even on top of my current artist, palliative-care-nurse and hand analyst.
Honestly, I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do or be, I just knew I needed it to be more different + more creative than what the world of conventional medicine + academia appeared to offer.
Also, I should note that up to about 3 years ago I was completely in love with my work as a nurse and at that point of my life, could never imagine wanting to do anything different.  
Especially not anything entrepreneurial. 
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In each of these drawings, the left side of the picture shares what was happening in my conventional nursing world.  
The right side of the drawing are things that happened in my personal life that had some major impact on my perspective and on how I oriented myself to my career.  I have high-lighted in particular to creative exploration, integrative learning opportunities and family challenges that factored into my journey.   I highlight the Occupy Wall Street movement because the whole social / political / environmental climate that I have found myself in heavily informed how I have grown.

Actually, I realize that related to this but not drawn-out:


In 2011 I went through a brief phase of exploring what it would mean to be an Emergency Preparedness First Responder + started taking courses online at the Justice Institute of BC.  This was largely informed by my sustainability / global warming studies wherein my conception of the future was much more focused on disastrous end-of-the-oil-age + near-zombie-apocalypse scenarios.  Remember, we were on the brink of 2012 - the Mayan end of ages :)
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As you can imagine, I got over that perspective :)
Totally + completely.
In my growth and development I became much more acutely aware of the power of my own attention + perspective in creating my reality.  So, I became much more invested in doing things that would create a reality where I was sharing and creating from joy and passion.   This is a so much more fun that working on the premise that I needed to do things differently, responsively out of fear that human civilization as we know it is seriously endangered.
Neither am I denying this possible reality either.
Let's be real, there are some seriously fucked up things in the world. Heinous injustices.  The Alberta Tar Sands. Generational fall-out of colonial tyranny that is ongoing.
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The experience of 2010 + 2011 are darker than expressed in my drawing, mostly because I was contemplating the above topics and how they would affect my life and work. It was the advent of my global warming / species survival contemplation phase.

Fortunately, I was gifted with the great honour of reconnecting with my ancestors through ceremony on Tsleil-Waututh territory (also not doodled).

This taught me how to take care of myself in a way that made it possible for me to take full responsibility of how I would be in the world.  To honour the power of my attention and affect in the world, I started asking for help + guidance with the bottom line ask of ''Dear ancestors + Universe, I really don't want to spend my life contemplating how to survive in a zombie apocalypse. There has got to be a more fun, beautiful, gorgeous way for me to do the same integral work in a different perspective.'' Someone was listening because I started being shown new ways of being.

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This is the video I made and submitted for the B-School competition.  I still watch it every now and then to remind me of why I am venturing into unknown territory and to honour the surprising paths it takes me on.  I find the video is still incredibly succinct + true to my underlying goal of facilitating open, honest conversations about death + dying because these actually help people come alive.
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The screenshot on the right is from July 5, 2015.

It is my ''WOOT! Tallyho!'' status signifying the another big shift towards my goal.  The first one happened the summer before where I moved into space that allowed me to have my own tiny room/studio for whatever my little heart pleased.  It was my headquarters for cranial sacral therapy, then for hand analysis.

This move was a big deal for two reasons.  Firstly, it was a deeper commitment to hand analysis than I had ever dreamed of making.  Secondly, it ushered in a major healing time for my relationship with my parents.  I had many conversations prior to my move back home to the downstairs suite about boundaries, expectations and creating a relationship together as adults where I can be who I am and they can be who they are.   Furthermore, it meant that I had their support in pursuit of my creative entrepreneurial career path.  This meant the world to me, especially after not seeing eye to eye for so long!    


Significant to note - I realize that at that time I thought hand analysis was going to be my main thing. I know how that it is not - I am going to continue to be some weird hybrid of seemingly disparate passions and that is okay! :)

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The screen shot on my left is from May 9, 2015.


This is after formally resigning from my permanent position as a registered nurse.  This was a big fat scary deal to me because it signified really leaving security in favour of exploring the unknown.  I need to acknowledge for a second though: I am very fortunate to work in a field where work is plenty and I have the means to keep doing casual work while I figure things out.  This is important because I don't believe in creating things from a place of survival / need - it messes with the integrity of the art.


What tickles me is that in less than 3 years I wrote 2 resignation letters - more than I have written in my whole life.  Every time I get ready to write those letters I look up Kahlil Gibran's passage On Work to help ground me in my certainty of resigning and what I am looking to create. Always.
Here is my latest doodle-status-update from July 15, 2015.
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The big game-changer here is that I am starting to circle back to the aspirations of that original youtube video I created.
That tender + cheeky illustrated workbook is finished - part 1 of it anyway. I am looking at it as I type this :)
Hand analysis is the service / modality that I needed to zero in on what is meaningful and why we should treat / aim to live anyway.  I am not sure of how everything will come together exactly but I can appreciate that everything I have learned + experienced over the past 3 years is an important part of what will come together.

Thank you so much for reading + sharing your time with me!
It means the world that you have joined me on my reflection.
For as long as I create I will continue to share.
So, be sure to watch this space as I feel I am just at the beginning of another new chapter altogether :)
Here is a sneak preview of what has been coming out of doodling:
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With much love and affection,
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POST-SCRIPT:
After I read this over I realize that I have also left out huge pieces of my personal life that have unfolded in the past 10 years!  This is just as well - those stories would best be woven into a memoir :) It is important for me to share and acknowledge though - I would not be who I am today were it not for those dear, amazing, incredible souls I have met. Thank you, each and every one of you, for sharing your friendship + yourself in all the worlds where we have crossed paths.  For a short time or long one.  You are in my heart :) It is a gorgeous life and I am so thankful for the ability to live it and share it with you :)
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The Importance of Being Ornery

4/29/2015

4 Comments

 
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Above:
A doodle depicting the Ornery part of me as it manifests in my consciousness 
(on the Board of Directors).

I often tell my hand readees that there are only 2 rules to  #HandAnalysisClub:

1.  Just be yourself  
All of you as it most easily + geniously (yes that is a word) rises to the surface.  
Naturally. 
Unfettered. 
Unapologetic.  
Or as Richard Unger would say in his Brooklyn drawl: ''Be the type you is!''

2.  Incorporate your opposite

Today I am going to focus on that incorporate your opposite piece.
It's powerful.
And a delicious, advanced technique for integrating the polar opposite dimensions of yourself so that you can be a yummy whole person.

Incorporate your opposite!
Now in hand analysis world, incorporating your opposite doesn't mean be 50/50.  
It does not mean that you are striving for some kind of equal balance - like half the time you give yourself permission to be a spontaneous, freedom living planner and the other half of the time you honour a time table and agenda.
No!
Not at all.
In hand analysis world, incorporating your opposite means first, be who you are, wholly.
Then, be willing to choose to express / do the complete opposite of what comes most naturally to you a little bit of the time. Let's say ... 20% of the time. It's the grand 80-20 rule.

So let's recap!
In hand analysis world, incorporating your opposite means

80% of the time - Be Who You Is
20% of the time - Be Aware of What Opposite You Would Do In The Same Situation + Be Free to Choose I

For example:
It means completely embrace the part of you that loves to have an unplanned vacation so you can wake up each day freshly free to take advantage of the weather and local seasonal events!  It means also that if seeing an ancient ruin that you have always wanted to see at sunrise takes a little bit of prep work (waking up at 4am to take a 1 hour drive and get into place) you can call upon your opposite stable schedule-minding side to get to bed at 10pm and set the alarm for 3am so you don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Being ornery is a way for me express my opposite.

In #HandAnalysisClub, being ornery is frequently an opposite of features such as: 

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1.   Water hands
        Image courtesy of http://handanalysisonline.com

2.  D-Forks on Heart Line
       Image courtesy of www.markseltman.com

3.  Whorl (Service) Fingerprints
      Especially if you have 4 or more
       Image courtesy of http://www.academyofhandanalysis.org

4.  Water Heart Line
     Image courtesy of http://handanalysisonline.com

Guess what?
Especially in the cases above, being ornery in #HandAnalysisClub can evolve to become a super-power of sorts.

This is my story, being a person who has 10 whorls and water elements in her hands. 
Heck, I actually have all 4 of the markings above so being ornery has truly + absolutely become a super-power! 
It is a super power that allows me to truly choose to say yes or no to any request or opportunity because I choose it freely.  Powerfully.
My previous default is  reactively saying yes to everything especially request of my time and attention or reactively saying no to everything (the other extreme which I admittedly, have little experience with until very recently).

So here is what I have learned about:

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1.  How does ornery feel to you?
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Ornery feels different to everyone.  
The formal definitions of ornery frequently cite: bad-tempered, easily annoyed, difficult to control and combative.  
For me, ornery is when I feel cranky and growly.  
When I am in prime ornery mode I feel resentful, backed into a corner, guarded and uncooperative. 
I feel like my shoulders are hunched down together and that I have a perpetual frown.  I feel heavy and defensive.
What does ornery feel like to you? Learn to describe it so you can notice when it shows up.

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2.  What does ornery tell to you?

Feelings are genius clues to our condition.
For me, feeling ornery is usually my alert that I am out of alignment in some way.
It usually means that I am acting out of reaction rather that thoughtfulness.  
It means I am just doing without consciously , intentionally choosing to do something.  
It might also mean that I have forgotten to ask and answer the 3 cardinal questions for Whorl fingerprint people before responding to a request:
  • Is it good for them?
  • Is it good for me?
  • Do I want to do this?

3.  What's the rescue kit for lifting ornery + returning to Happyland?

I used to judge myself quite harshly for being cranky or getting cranky.  
I mean, what kind of a selfish and terrible person am I for agreeing to do something I don't really want to do anyway?  Joking!  So joking.  
Nowadays, thank goodness, I have come to recognize and value my ornery state of feeling as an indicator that something is off.  
Life is meant to feel easy and feel good, really and truly, so ornery is a delicious contrast to direct us back to the easy, pleasurable joy (= Happyland).  
When I notice that I am cranky, here's what I do to honour the ornery and help move it along:
1. Celebrate:  Always.  If I notice I am feeling something, especially ornery, first I give a little whoop of thanks that I noticed it.

2. Make Friendly:  Get friendly with the ornery. I don't want to rush the crankypants part of myself along - I just want to notice it and wave hello.
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3. Listen:  I talk to the ornery part of me and ask what's going on.  You'd be surprised what this does sometimes.  Usually it gives me some more insight as to what has ticked me off or what is pressing against me. ''Talking'' can be done via journalling, quiet time, conversation with a friend, meditation, checking in with a support person etc.

4. Choose: Usually after that introspective part, I often ask myself if I still want to feel ornery.  Then I choose to DO (see next) accordingly 

5.  Do: Hey, sometimes I do want to feel ornery!  True story.  It's fun!  Also a healthy and honest expression of my anger connects me to the truth of what I am feeling and power - all good stuff when expressed in a conscious way.  So if I want to keep feeling ornery and run with Crankypants I usually choose what I am going to do. Keep doing what I am doing perhaps (argh, this one can be hard, especially when you think you have no option otherwise) or stomp around monstrously and deeply only to notice the grump has dissipated.  Possible.  Or if you don't wait to be cranky, do something to pull you out of it.  Some physical experience that will immediately bring you to a feeling state of something other than cranky.  I like to turn on music and dance.  Or go notice and appreciate some beautiful flowers.  Or take deep breaths.  Or pay attention to my cat.  Or go do something that brings me joy.

It's through exercising all these things I have come to really, truly enjoy the state of ornery as a wise indicator of how in alignment I am.
How my actions are matching - or not matching - my wants.  
It allows me to course-correct!
And that my friends, is why it is important to embrace your opposites, even if it feels initially uncomfortable.  
There's usually wisdom in the opposite - even if it means becoming the embodiment of Grumpy McNo!

Love from your resident Crankypants,
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Autumn Blooms After a Long Quiet

10/20/2014

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Hello dear ones:
This image really resonates with me.
I pretty much have it on all of my social media headers right now because for a while there, I felt at a loss.  
An explosive, mind busting loss that encompasses both grief and joy.
It has been a full summer.
It is quite the amazing fall.
My short synopsis is to bring you to speed and welcome you to the most current unfoldings of my life + work:

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Top Left:
I AM A CERTIFIED HAND ANALYST!
I completed my Year Long Certification Training with the
 International Institute of Hand Analysis.
I am double-legit-for-real now.
After more than 200 hands read + much learning I offer my deepest gratitude, celebration + joy to you courageous wonders who shared your hands with me, my incredible fellow students and my magnificent IIHA faculty.

Bottom Left:
Another landmark move.  This time to my very own space which I lovingly call The Gladstone.  It is equal parts tea salon, boudoir, quiet cave of discerning + mega dynamic art studio.  Also: crucible, comfort + home. 
Top Right:
Summer road trips for the soul.

Bottom Right:
A conscious endeavour to begin a third year of study, deepening my hand analysis skills with the Advanced Hand Analyst Certification.
Simultaneous pursuits that I am focussing my attention on:  pushing my creative edge as an artist, cultivating my growth as a social entrepreneur and onward in creative service to make people's eyes sparkle in the most fun, magical way possible.
Mediums of choice = hand reading, conversation + doodles   
 
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http://moosekleenex.tumblr.com
I tore down the previous incarnations of my Joan Trinh Pham and The Renegade Courtesan (hand analysis) websites seeking simplification + integration.

This is the beginnings of me crafting my next skin. 

It is a work in process. 
( process > progress )
There is so much joy, magic + power in creation after a heady hibernation to dream + discern.
Now I am straight up applying the real life formula for magic:
Desire + Action = Power
My words of the year:
Velocity
Deepening
Fire

With conspiratory giggles in a room primed for expansion, 
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A Declaration of Adventure!

7/18/2014

2 Comments

 
Update as of July 2014 :
I am excited to announce the next chapter of my creative pursuits in the service of empowering people to come alive, die awesome + celebrate.  It looks nothing like I thought it would. The Universe is hilarious + amazing this way.  By the fall this website will look completely different.  In the meantime please visitwww.therenegadecourtesan.com 
or stay in touch via facebook.
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