Hello lovelies!
This particular blog post has taken me some time to compose.  
How does one articulate a profound and transformative 10 day learning process into a succinct and expressive summary blog post?

It sure beats me :)  I will do my best!

It was an immersive 10 day training in which I learned a simple + powerful tool to gently examine negative, limiting subconscious patterns that were blocking my true expression, polluting my wants / desires and best of all, release these tapes that no longer served me.

I marvel at this work: 

Truly, it occurred to me that I was learning an amazing and powerful tool to clear the path between the head and heart.  To me, connecting the heart + head means to open up one's heart, with its joys, desires + vulnerabilities in combination with accepting + cultivating awareness of one's mind.  To do these two things brings profound empowerment because clarity + awareness allow for free choices + authentic expression.

To illustrate this specifically, I would like to share with you my own story:

Hello!
I have a simple + super exciting announcement for you today: 
My Etsy shop is live!
I have large and small prints of my Die Awesome Manifesto for sale.
If the words move you I would be honoured if she share widely. 
Live awesome. Die awesome. Let's do this :)

This post is reposted from my www.dieawesome.com blog.  I am reposting it here because these topics, sex + death are at the forefront of my mind.  Very related to these topics:  growing into my identity as The Renegade Courtesan + pleasure as medicine.  Here is an illuminated doodle  and quote that I have been brewing on as appetizers before you delve into the juicy post.  Enjoy!

Love much,

As originally posted from www.dieawesome.com from December 1, 2013

Dear readers of Die Awesome:

Sex + Death
I am fascinated with both of these topics.  You probably guessed this with my being a palliative care nurse + art ninja (specifically an art ninja of the burlesque stripper variety). 

For much of my life so far, these fields of passionate interest have been kept quite separate from another but there similarities and overlaps in both.  It is challenging for me to articulate the complex, beautiful connections I see.  The simplest one is this:  sex + death are both profoundly connected with life + are transformative when infused with love.  Sex + Death are also the most natural and organic experiences of life, essential to creation.

I am delighted to share with you a passage and two articles that discuss two frequently and unfortunately taboo subjects together.

These writings move and inspire me to reflect on both topics.
More thrillingly, the writings shine some light on topics that are so often kept in the dark.
Hoorah for illumination, delight for the path of inquiry leading to greater clarity, less fear and joyful abandonment.
Hoorah to creative life force + vitality!
Enjoy!

For a long time I felt like I led a bit of a double life.

I worked by day as a palliative care nurse.  I spent many hours at the bedside with families and caring for people who were nearing the end of their life.  By night I often was sewing and learning choreography which almost always climaxed with a jubiliant, dynamic and glittering pastie reveal.  Not many people whom I worked with knew the details of my creative life and few of my sequined family knew the details of my professional life, both rich and full as they were.

For many years I couldn't quite explain why palliative care nursing and burlesque stripteasing existed so harmoniously together for me.  When my "life plan" (ha!) fell apart last year I searched everywhere to understand how my passions could fit together with my work.  I could not for the life of me figure out how creativity / sexuality overlapped with wellness / dying.  I thank my lucky stars that I bumped into Alex Baisley whose keen listening and insight helped me connect the dots.

Here are the beginning reflections about how death & burlesque are connected for me:

 Burlesque is a fascinating, multi-faceted art form.  For me, neoburlesque became an important way of discovering and celebrating my body.  I became more myself, grew to deeply appreciate my physicality and learned to rock my curves after a youth of mass media influenced self-doubt & scrutinity.  Burlesque also allowed me to explore the sexuality and creative expression.  My incredible peers shared experience, skills, knowledge and passion for me to express with increasing freedom.  Performing burlesque became a profoundly awesome coming of age for which I am deeply grateful.  I learned to delightfully embody femininity.  Then I learned to play and explore, freeing myself from rigid gender identities and celebrated this thoroughly.  Best of all, thanks to burlesque, I learned that I could be whatever I wanted and hilariously enough, the world loves dirty, stripteasing anthropomorphic bananas. 

More importantly, I found that performing and the burlesque community were an important means for me to keep balanced in my demanding field of work. Burlesque connected me to an amazing community of inspiring artists, audience, photographers, costumers and make-up artists.  At once I had a large, beautiful, sparkling, international family who continue to challenge and enrich my creative life through their dynamic evolution and passion.  

Dancing dorky orange at Screaming Chicken Theatrical 
Society's Taboo Revuve, photo by Greg McKinnon (2011)

Performing burlesque also became an honouring ritual for me over time.  I would think of people who I had been fortunate enough to work with and allow my emotions to flow through my performance.  This helped me transform any grief and heaviness I carried into joy, love and wonderment as a tribute to their unique lives.  It may sound grandiose, especially since I often danced as plush fruit, but for me, it was sincere and profoundly helpful as part of my self-care.   

I'm inspired to share this because next week is the 8th Annual Vancouver International Burlesque Festival:  May 2nd to 4th.  It's one of my favorite times of the year because it brings together the local phenomenal talent with some of the finest international burlesque talent.

I highly encourage you to go and enjoy an evening of burlesque as this will be some of the finest onstage all year.  There's nothing like watching some amazing burlesque to make you come alive in more ways than one :)

In effervescent cheeky delight,

POST SCRIPT INSPIRATIONS
I love sharing.  I would like to share an awesome infographic and article which prompted me to compose these words.

I love this.  I'm all about infographic edutainment these days.  Thanks so much to justrandomdesigns for turning this fantastic Guardian UK article which captures the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, as shared by Australian palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware (2012).

Next I'd like to introduce you to Jes, The Militant Baker:

She wrote anwesome blog post called Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls ... So I Will  which I wish someone had given me when I was a young suffering teenager.  In one fell swoop she captures things that were years of "aha!" moments for me, particularly through the awesome route of burlesque :) Jes is AWESOME :)

LOVELIES:
In between work, naps, snuggles with my cat, smooches with my sweetie and chest-bump-pound-it texts with my sister I am KILLIN IT WITH CREATION

I didn't win a scholarship for @marieforleo's B-School http://rhhbschool.com #winBSCHOOL


Not going to lie, my ego had a sad face
However
My life has shifted irrevocably.  AWESOME!  Amazing!
I am radiant with gratitude to Team Forleo + everyone who witnessed/shared my dream unfolding 
Thank You!
Less than a week ago this book was a maybe-someday-possibly-thing

Now I realise it's part of my life work :)
Here's the first page:
For best effect and to experience the page as I drew it, you need to hit play.  RiRi and my best friend Kanye West will soundtrack it for you: 

This is a multi-dimensional effort.
I'm excited :)
I'll be going balls deep, one tiny step at a time to make it happen :)

With thanks and much love,

Ps.  You gotta check out the winners.  They are AMAZING!  :)