Happy Easter everyone!  Happy Spring! :)
I booked myself a week of vacation for space, consolidation, dreaming, scheming & creation.  It's been an amazing few weeks - since I made and shared my Die Awesome B-School Video avalanches of hope and innovation have showed up, many times through the ideas and generous support of people like you who are reading this!

A strategy has been shaping in my mind about how to get those ideas done - manifestation a la hustlin' as my sister says.  By hustlin' I mean working hard, fueled by love, lit by prayers for help, sprinkled with generous bum wiggling and with a warrior squeep of let's do it!  Let's experiment! :)

None of this would have been thinkable for me less than a year ago.
Last spring I embarked on what I thought would be the certain incremental apex of my j-o-b life.  I found myself in a nursing leadership position, split between clinical and management in an amazing setting working with elders, their family and kind staff.  It was a total blow to the ego and "life plan" (ha!) when I realised with distraught that I could not continue the position - my heart was not in it.  

It was a rough and tender time after leaving the position.  I thank the stars that when one dream dies out of its ashes new dreams can rise. 

Here are some of the pieces which touched my heart, challenged my and gave me hope to keep conspiring :)

Also, very-super-important-resonant blog post from Danielle Laporte that you must read.:  
Do not do shit just to please your parents.
It's not easy to follow your heart and be yourself, especially when your parents have a hard time with it.  Trust me, I know.  I'm a religion-award-winning Catholic school Head Prefect nerd who moved out and became burlesque banana.  I publicly explored my sexuality in queer, kinky and poly circles and ended up finding amazing partners who are COMPLETELY not prize-winning-traditional-Vietnamese husband material.  It was not easy but it has been profoundly beautiful.  I am lucky that I have amazing resilient, forgiving parents.  For those in doubt like I was, trust that your parents are amazing, resilient and forgiving as well.  Love them and trust their love for you - hold for the possibility that this bond can be transformative in its love, no matter how hard it is.  Me, Mommy Pham and Daddy, we weathered storms of pain, disappointment and shattered expectations to arrive back to loving each other exactly for who we are.  It's a two way love.  It keeps growing too.

With super Phamily love,

A hilarious and vivid illustration of contrast:

In my work as a palliative care nurse I have come to learn that cardio-pulmonary-resuscitation (CPR) is only effective in a small percentage of the population.   CPR can have more harm than benefits when one's organism - when one's body - has already deteriorated significantly due to chronic, progressive or terminal disease.

In other areas of my life, I notice that this concept of shocking hearts and using some amount of volition / force to get them beating again  when they have stopped - this is actually a genius idea.  Can you imagine?  A sort of CPR for boredom, apathy or feeling stagnant?  A lightning bolt of remembrance that knocks you back into remembering who you are or what you love?  This - this I can endorse whole heartedly.  

Thus, I propose a that
CPR for dying souls =
1.  Shock them with wonderment
      (repeat as needed)
2.  Continuous infusion of magic, as tolerated

A perfect example of this shock of wonderment or reality-disturbing element of surprise is the work of British Street artist Banksy.  His work is seems to both arrest and incite resurrection for me in the part of myself that is beyond physicality.  His work breathes back life into my rebel soul.

What occurs to me is that there is an expansion when I encounter something beautiful and thought-provoking.
This pause is sublime.
It reminds me:
I am sublime
You are sublime
the box that I didn't even know I was inside before goes poof! + disappears for a moment
and the stillness gently nudges me into a pool of beautiful, greater awareness, of possibility. 

Gorgeous :)

Rachel Carson gets it:

“If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.” 

Hell yeah :)
This is the only time I would sign up to be a full code.  

If I have a cancer that is spreading through my body and seems to not be stoppable by any combination of chemo, radiation, surgery, miracles or any combination of holistic-self-care-extravagance 

or

If I have had heart disease for a decade and my kidneys are beginning to fail and I find myself in the hospital with a particularly nasty pneumonia and you find that I have stopped breathing quietly, unexpectedly and peacefully as I was sleeping ...

don't bring me back.  
Don't do CPR.  
In both cases, my amazing yet time-limited fragile human body has given obvious signs that its expiry is imminently on the horizon.  I am ready for my next adventure.

On the other hand -
If I am feeling dull, listless or disconnected -
Surprise me with an unexpected joke.
Blow my mind with a ridiculous feat of beauty.
CPR my  heart, soul, my spirit anytime.  

All art in this blog post by Banksy.  For more of his work check out ​https://www.artsy.net/artist/banksy
Blog post originally written March 27, 2013 / Revised February 12, 2016

Over the past week I have had the great blessing of sharing my papal excitement with two absolutely wonderful work colleagues.
I definitely celebrate a pope that shares the same name as one of my favourite saints.  There's something bad-ass and radical about a man who wants the protective glass off the pope-mobile too - my kinda pope!
Tonight I read Pope Francis' inaugural homily and I must confess I teared up and felt my heart blossoming with hope, delight + excitement!
Tenderness.
Honouring creation + the environment.
Protecting people, showing loving concern for each and every person (especially children, the elderly + needy)
Umm, can you say #fangirlswoon :)
Here are some of my most favourite illuminated quotes from his homily:

Hoorah!
Tomorrow I will begin my 4th of 5 cranial sacral therapy (CST) modules. 
I'm close to graduating!  Exciting :)

Here are my prep notes:  I confess that I beam with nerdy pride :)  
I particularly adore this book that I've just read for the weekend.
I think it teaches a super practical, helpful way to connect with one's own inner wisdom via listening to the body.
I totally dig that :)

Hello world!
It's true - while some of me looks calm and zen (like this blog), other parts of me are PADDLIN' LIKE A BOSS.
Case in point:  these sketchbook doodles

I'm balls deep in learning / creating.  It's pretty awesome.
I am having a lot more fun the learning and creating these days because I have stopped finishing / perfecting / scrutinizing / worrying / listening to my inner critic before I share things with people.  I am following what I love, sharing it + trusting that trying my best is the raddest route to take. 

I started a for-reals blog at
http://die-awesome.blogspot.ca
which I ADORE working on.  It's leading to some amazing conversations.

Whenever I doubt myself I refer back to these quotes:
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” Mother Theresa
and
“A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle. ” Kahlil Gibran
Wishing you the bestest in doing tiny things a little bit at a time, day-by-day,
Your neighbourhood quack (the zen-hustler Duckling),